the English are not in the habit of getting enthusiastic about cooking
lunch at home.. will not leave many unforgettable memories.
The French, irascible after a hard day, install themselves comfortably in the sun on the terrace of a café. The British crowd into dark and smoky pubs to discuss sport and politics with a drinking neighbour whom they have never met before
we judge social class in much more subtle and complex ways: precisely how you arrange, furnish and decorate your terraced house; not just the make of car you drive, but whether you wash it yourself on Sundays, take it to a car wash or rely on the English climate..
Wherever we settle in any numbers, we not only create pockets of utterly insular Englishness, but also often attempt to Impose our cultural norms and habits on the local population.
Any discussion of English conversation, like any English conversation, must begin with The Weather. .. English weather-speak is a form of code, evolved to help us overcome our natural reserve and actually talk to each other. ..
This is excruciatingly English: over-formality is embarrassing, but so is an inappropriate degree of informality (that problem with extremes again).
The 'brash American' approach: 'Hi, I'm Bill from Iowa,' particularly if accompanied by an outstretched hand and beaming smile, makes the English wince and cringe. ..
.. awkwardness may, perversely, occur precisely because people believe they are saying the 'correct' thing. Formality is embarrassing. But then, informality is embarrassing. Everything is embarrassing.
.. gossip may be particularly important to the English, because of our obsession with privacy.
it is somehow more acceptable to divulge details of one's personal life in a book, newspaper column or magazine article than to do so in the much less public arena of a small social gathering.
only the English (and our 'colonial descendants') seem to regard animated tones and expressive responses as effeminate.
English female bonding-talk often starts with a ritual exchange of compliments. In fact, this ritual can be observed at almost every social gathering of two or more female friends.
While English women are busy paying each other compliments, English men are usually putting each other down, in a competitive ritual .. Both require concealment of one's real opinions or feelings - and in both cases, etiquette triumphs over truth and reason.
our leave-takings tend to be every bit as awkward, embarrassed and incompetent as our introductions.
A tendency to awkwardness, embarrassment and general social ineptitude must now be incorporated into our 'grammar' - an important factor, as this tendency must surely have a significant effect on all aspects of English social relations.
.. the real 'defining characteristic' is the value we put on humour, the central importance of humour in English culture and social interactions.
an underlying rule in all English conversation is the proscription of 'earnestness'. .. .. Seriousness is acceptable, solemnity is prohibited. Sincerity is allowed, earnestness is strictly forbidden. Pomposity and self-importance are outlawed.
the kind of hand-on-heart, gushing earnestness and pompous, Bible-thumping solemnity favoured by almost all American politicians would never win a single vote in this country
if a country or culture could be said to have a catchphrase, I would propose 'Oh, come off it!' as a strong candidate for England's national catchphrase.
What is unique about English humour is the pervasiveness of irony and the importance we attach to it. Irony is the dominant ingredient in English humour.
The reasons for our prolific understating are not hard to discover: our strict prohibitions on earnestness, gushing, emoting and boasting require almost constant use of understatement.
everyone understands that the customary self-deprecation probably means roughly the opposite of what is said, and is duly impressed, both by one's achievements and by one's reluctance to trumpet them. ..
… it is about the fine line between seriousness and solemnity, and it seems to me that our acute sensitivity to this distinction, and our intolerance of earnestness, are distinctively English.
English people, whether they admit it or not, are fitted with a sort of social GPS computer that tells us a person's position on the class map as soon as he or she begins to speak.
.. over three-quarters of the adult population go to pubs, and over a third are 'regulars', visiting the pub at least once a week.
the bar counter of the pub is one of the very few places in England where it is socially acceptable to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger. At the bar counter, normal rules of privacy and reserve are suspended ..
we are back in Looking-Glass land again. The truth of English etiquette is indeed stranger than even the strangest of fiction.
omitting the 'please' is a serious offence. It is also vital to say 'thank-you' (or 'thanks', or 'cheers', or at the very least the non-verbal equivalent - eye contact, nod and smile), when the drinks are handed over, and again when the change is given.
Our endless "please"s disguise orders and instructions as requests; our constant "thank-you"s maintain an illusion of friendly equality
.. English conversation codes, in which names are used significantly less than in other cultures, and where over-use of names is frowned upon as cloyingly American.
over-use of names is frowned upon as cloyingly American
This sort of pointless, childish fight-picking might appear to be in contravention of the pub.. prescription of intimacy and non-aggression, but the fact is that arguing, for English males, is a crucial element of the 'pursuit of intimacy'.
In the pub, the normally reserved and cautious English shed some of their inhibitions, and give voice to whatever passing thought happens to occur to them.
although sociability and egalitarianism are universal features of drinking-places, the contrast with conventional norms is particularly striking in the English case (only matched by the Japanese.. also, perhaps significantly, a society inhabiting a small, overcrowded island).
the English all want to live in their Own private little box with their own private little green bit. .. Nearly 70% of English people own the homes in which they live, well above the European average.
Even if you manage to find the correct street, the numbering of the houses will be hopelessly inconsistent and idiosyncratic, further complicated by many people choosing to give their houses names rather than numbers.
We are a nation of nest builders. Almost the entire population is involved in DIY, at least to some degree. .. often involving the destruction of any evidence of the previous owner's territorial marking. ..
Upper-class and uppermiddle-class homes tend to be shabby, frayed and unkempt in a way no middle-middle or lower-middle would tolerate
This 'eccentricity clause' seems to be most reliably effective at the top and bottom ends of the social scale. The .. middle zones are more vulnerable to re-classification on the grounds of perceived deviation from the class norm.
The more grand or desirable your new residence, the more you must emphasize the troubles, inconveniences and 'nightmares' involved in its acquisition and improvement. ..
It is absolutely forbidden to ask directly what someone paid for their house (or indeed any item in their house) : this is almost as unforgivably rude as asking them what they earn.
Even if you are highly skilled, you must always play down your achievements, and if possible play up your most embarrassing mistakes and blunders.
the English simply will not live in flats or share courtyards like urban dwellers in other countries: we must have our private boxes and green bits.
A person busy in his or her front garden is regarded as socially 'available', and neighbours who would never dream of knocking on your front door may stop for a chat
even the average, bog-standard English garden represents considerably more effort than most other nations typically invest in their green bits. .. Gardening is probably the most popular hobby in the country
The average American garden does not even deserve the name, and is rightly called a 'yard',
the average, bog-standard English garden represents considerably more effort than most other nations typically invest in their green bits. Only the Japanese - our fellow crowded-small-island-dwellers - can be said to make a comparable effort ..
All humans have a territorial instinct, but the English obsession with our homes and mania for nest building goes much further than this... I would suggest that home is what the English have instead of social skills.
we find it more difficult than many other cultures to be uninhibited among people we do not know well - and this reticence in turn means that it takes us longer to get to know people well enough to shed our inhibitions.
They will generally be tolerated, with that sort of grudging, apathetic forbearance for which the English seem to have a peculiar talent.
on public transport .. the denial rule requires us to avoid talking to strangers, or even making eye contact with them, or indeed acknowledging their presence in any way unless absolutely necessary
What looks like unfriendliness is really a kind of consideration: we judge others by ourselves, and assume that everyone shares our obsessive need for privacy
The English are a predominantly 'negative-politeness' culture, while the Americans, for example, tend to favour the more warm, inclusive 'positive-politeness' mode.
according to Brown and Levinson, these 'negative-politeness' cultures include Japan, Madagascar and certain sections of Indian society
according to Brown and Levinson, these 'negative-politeness' cultures include Japan, Madagascar and certain sections of Indian society
according to Brown and Levinson, these 'negative-politeness' cultures include Japan, Madagascar and certain sections of Indian society
about 80 per cent of my victims said 'sorry' when I lurched into them, even though the collisions were quite clearly my fault. ..the vast majority of the bumped, of all ages, classes and ethnic origin, apologized when I 'accidentally' jostled them.
Only the Japanese (surprise, surprise) seemed to have anything even approaching the English sorry-reflex
The English expect each other to observe the rules of queuing, feel highly offended when these rules are violated, but lack the confidence or social skills to express their annoyance in a straightforward manner.
A queue jumper can prompt complete strangers to exchange raised eyebrows, eye-rolls, pursed-lipped headshakes, tutts, sighs and even (quiet) verbal comments.
We can do aggression, including both outright violence and devious, ineffectual passive-aggression - and we can do the opposite, over-polite self-effacement and stoical, passive resignation. But we veer between these two extremes
if you 'play fair' and explicitly acknowledge the rights and prior claims of those in front of you in a queue they will instantly drop all their paranoid suspicions and passive-aggressive tactics, and treat you fairly, or even generously, in return.
praising the English .. invariably provokes much more argument and controversy than criticising them.
English drivers are quite rightly renowned for their orderly, sensible, courteous conduct.
We seem to be congenitally incapable of being frank, clear or assertive. We are always oblique, always playing some complex, convoluted game.
the majority of the more notable and flamboyant English eccentrics have always come from either the highest or the lowest social classes.
Can there be any other nation so resolutely unpatriotic, so prone to self-flagellation, so squeamishly reluctant to accept praise?
Le mystère de la France est sans doute là, dans ce sentiment profond d'une appartenance immédiate
Order and discipline dominate everywhere.
Behavior is based on freedom and friendliness - one doesn't bother with principles that hinder efficiency. Women have an important role in social life
Talkative charmers, Italians like tourists. They use superlatives about any subject, and are very keen on titles and decorations.
Professional life is the centre-point of existence, women stay at home and are not seen in public. One must stay calm and self-controlled in all circumstances
British phlegm is known thoughout the world. One always show great reserve, one must be courteous whatever the circumstances, in the street and at the wheel.
He is characteristically English in his fluid command of words written and spoken.
I am talking about the more subtle forms of humour - wit, irony, understatement, banter, teasing, pomposity-pricking - which are an integral part of almost all English social interaction.
In the English work place.. The hand-on-heart gusher and the pompous pontificator are mercilessly ridiculed - if not to their faces, then certainly behind their backs. …
Irony and Understatement Rules. .. The English are accustomed to this perpetual state of uncertainty
the English rules forbidding boastfulness and prescribing a modest, unassuming manner can often be at odds with modern business practices.
there is always an awkward period - usually lasting around five to ten minutes, but it can take up to twenty - in which all or some of the parties feel that it would be rude to start 'talking business' straight away
You will not often see an English person entirely at ease when obliged to engage in moneytalk.
it seems to be the pushy, undignified, money-focused selling of things that we find most distasteful, and most untrustworthy.
The English, on the whole, do not 'work hard and play hard': we do both, and most other things, in moderation.
all of my foreign and immigrant informants commented on the English sense of fair play, and specifically on our respect for the law and our relative freedom from the corruption they felt was endemic and tacitly accepted…f in other parts of the world
On Monday mornings, for example, in every workplace in England, from factories and shops to offices and boardrooms, someone will be conducting a Monday-morning moan.
The concept of compromise seems to be deeply embedded in the English psyche. Even on the rare occasions when we are roused to passionate dispute, we usually end up with a compromise.
the anti-theory, anti-dogma, anti-abstraction elements of the English empiricist tradition, our stolid preference for the factual, concrete and common-sense, and deep mistrust of obscurantist, 'Continental' theorising and rhetoric.
There is, however, something distinctive about the phenomenal extent of their popularity, particularly in the case of DIY and gardening. On any given evening or weekend, in at least half of all English households, someone will be 'improving' the home..
only in England does (soap tv) take place entirely among ordinary, plain-looking people, often middle-aged or old, doing menial or boring jobs, wearing cheap clothes, eating beans and chips, drinking in scruffy pubs and living in realistically small, pokey, unglamorous houses.
American soaps or 'daytime dramas' are aimed at the same lower-class audience as our EastEnders and Coronation Street .. But the characters and their settings and lifestyles are all middle class, glamorous, attractive, affluent and youthful.
Almost all English sit-coms are about 'losers' - unsuccessfuI people, doing unglamorous jobs, having unsatisfactory relationships, living in, at best, dreary suburban houses.
In the American versions, they are given job promotions, more regular features, better hair, smarter clothes, more glamorous girlfriends, more up-market houses and lifestyles. Their disgusting habits are toned down, and their language is sanitized
the English seem to have a greater potential for embarrassment than other cultures, to experience it more often, and to be more constantly anxious and worried about it.
their behaviour in the Big Brother house is largely characterized by typically English reserve, inhibition, squeamishness and awkwardness
reading books ranks as even more popular than DIY and gardening in national surveys of leisure activity
almost every other headline involves some kind of play on words - a pun, a double meaning, a deliberate jokey misspelling, a literary or historical reference, a clever neologism, an ironic put-down, a cunning rhyme or amusing alliteration, and so on.
There is a tacit understanding among English shoppers to the effect that shopping is not an act of spending, but an act of saving.. You do not speak of having 'spent' x amount on an item of food or clothing, but of having 'saved' x amount on the item.